postcards from the playa

I’ve received a lot of response from my last post about being first in line for Burning Man. So I thought I’d take some time to clear up a few things.

My two reasons for coming up this early to the desert to a) get in line and to b) secretly test a new wireless technology. I guess now is a good of time as any to reveal what I’m testing.

Due to gas prices this summer, certain ‘organizations’ have had to explore extreme cost saving measures. One area of exploration is their wireless networks.

Global Wireless Network

My source, who’s playa name is ‘anon-i-mouse’, has been secretly creating a new technology for the last two years. He was going to have some people at high levels of the ‘organization’ test it around the 4th of July, but it wasn’t quite ready yet.

This technology is an implementation of the upcoming IEEE 802.11e standards that have yet to be ratified. I know that the ‘e’ doesn’t correspond to traditional incremental naming schemes – 802.11 started with ‘a’, then ‘b’, then ‘g’ and then apple took it to the ‘n’th degree! Well the ‘e’ got skipped so since this is technically a downgrade in speed and capacity, they chose ‘e’ for economy.

This technology is based on a classified whitepaper written during World War I about the creation of a Carrier Pigeon Relay Service or CPRS for short. My source has finally implemented the technology and is will be releasing the source code to the Java applet called ‘tweatr’ at http://tweatr.org.

How does it work? Well I can’t reveal all the details just yet, look for an upcoming press release. A rough sketch of what i’ve been testing is this:

  • open java applet called tweatr
  • type in your post
  • tweatr then emits longitudinal waves also known as ‘tweats’
  • the CPRS then receives these ‘tweats’ via various Field Agents placed in low geosynchronous orbit
  • the CPRS then takes care of the rest. Please see Jeff Goldblum’s explanation of geosynchronous orbit in the movie “Independence Day” if you would like to know more about how this technology works.

I’ve posted an artist’s depiction of a Field Agent. You have to understand that we can’t show you an actual picture, because we don’t want to reveal the identity of our Field Agents. Below is the exclusive peek at a Field Agent.

CPRS Field Agent ‘Artist Sketch’

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6 Responses to postcards from the playa

  1. Dad says:

    Zach:
    The RV looks good with bicycle and chairs. Pictures are always good.

    Love,
    Dad

  2. gigikpt says:

    Great pix & map. Have fun! Go dogs!!

  3. Cat says:

    ha!! so it is YOU, the one responsible for the Field Agent Secret Training Camp in the back parking lot at the office!!

  4. dustbunny says:

    More dog pictures please! Less pigeon pictures!

  5. Tracy aka No-show says:

    Hi Zack,

    Since you are on the cutting edge to technology, I thought you would like the latest bulletin from Apple:

    Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on
    cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough,
    because women are always complaining about men staring at their
    breasts and not listening to them.

  6. auntie says:

    Pictures are great. I must say-I hate pigeons. they are the only creatures I can say that about. Having been Dooed upon by a pigeon, as a teenager in greater downtown Grundy

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